News & Politics
New Zealand Listener

New Zealand Listener Issue 52 2019

New Zealand Listener is the country’s most respected general interest magazine, bringing you a wide variety of news, stories, columns, reviews, plus TV listings, every week.

New Zealand
Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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52 Issues

In this issue

1 min.
new zealand listener

Editor-in-Chief PAMELA STIRLING Books & Culture Editor RUSSELL BAILLIE Art Director DEREK WARD Senior Writers DONNA CHISHOLM, DIANA WICHTEL (Auckland), SALLY BLUNDELL (Christchurch) Chief Sub-editor GEOFF CUMMING Sub-editor NICK RUSSELL Entertainment Editor FIONA RAE Political Columnist JANE CLIFTON Assistant Art Director SHANE KELLY Senior Designer RICHARD KINGSFORD Digital Producer RYAN HOLDER Editorial Assistant LAUREN BUCKERIDGE Editorial office Bauer Media Group, Shed 12, City Works Depot, 90 Wellesley St West, Auckland 1010 Editorial postal address Private Bag 92512, Wellesley Street, Auckland 1141, New Zealand. Editorial contact 09-308 2405, listener@bauermedia.co.nz Published by Bauer Media Group (NZ) Chief Executive Officer BRENDON HILL Managing Director TANYA WALSHE General Manager Publishing STUART DICK Editorial Director – Current Affairs BEN FAHY Commercial Brand Manager JOSH WILLIAMS, jowilliams@bauermedia.co.nz Direct Account Manager MIKE SANDERS, msanders@bauermedia.co.nz Classified sales KIM CHAPMAN 07-578 3646, classifieds@xtra.co.nz…

3 min.
all for a good claus

It’s beginning to feel a lot like something that isn’t quite Christmas any more – but maybe it’s for the better. Just ask Yuletide Inc chief executive Santa Claus, who is instigating a major disruption of the operation of his own long-standing North Pole-based “fulfilment centre”, as Amazon would call it, after closely studying the latest alarming report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. “Our operation is still extremely successful as a customer-facing enterprise, but it’s time to admit it’s just not sustainable,” says Claus. “It’s important we now get buy-in from our global client base of young people to reboot our business model and future-proof it to be fit for purpose. We can’t keep kicking this can down the road.” Claus’ communications elf, Blitzen, stressed to media that Santa meant to…

3 min.
traditions to cherish

’Tis the season of Christmas traditions. There’s the veneration of St Nicholas, dressed in red robes, whipping children who’ve misbehaved. No, wait, we don’t celebrate that. The beloved old saint, who could be very “cruel in correctyng”, according to William Caxton’s 1483 account, is more happily remembered for rewarding the good as a wealthy benefactor and gift-giver. There’s also the tradition of the Christmas riots. Again, best not repeated too enthusiastically or too often, these were in protest against the ban Oliver Cromwell sought to impose on Christmas. In the 1580s, Protestants hated the excesses of the feast day. As pamphleteer – read blogger – Philip Stubbs complained: “What masking and mumming, what dicing and carding, what eating and drinking, what banqueting and feasting is then used to the great…

1 min.
quips & quotes

“The House will now file articles of impeachment, then it will go to a full vote, then it could go to the Senate. I mean, how many steps are there in this? Are we impeaching a president or assembling a futon from Ikea?” – James Corden on Donald Trump’s impeachment“They said his actions were worse than any president ever. Basically, they rolled up the Constitution and spanked him with it.” – Jimmy Kimmel on Trump’s impeachment hearing“The children told me they wanted a pony for Christmas. But I don’t know if it will fit in the oven.” – seen on Twitter“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller“We are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again…

5 min.
the enemy within

In claiming that greenhousegas emissions continue to rise partly because of a “systematic, organised campaign by the fossil-fuel industry and its allies”, Naomi Oreskes (“Climate of deception”, December 14) diverts attention from the real guilty parties. To see who they are, we need look no further than our rush-hour-clogged motorways. Until each of us in our fossil-fuel-powered vehicle switches to public transport or an electric vehicle, we have no hope of combating climate change. It’s easy to blame the fossil-fuel industry or our governments, while ignoring the drastic lifestyle changes urgently required of you and me. As Pogo said, contemplating the litter-strewn Everglades in Walt Kelly’s prescient 1971 cartoon strip, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” John Miller Crawford(Grey Lynn, Auckland) LETTER OF THE WEEK If, as Naomi Oreskes argues, dastardly Big…

1 min.
winning caption

Paul Kelly, Palmerston North FINALISTS Prince Charles: “Camilla, just pretend you can see it, then we can get a G&T.” – Lynda Kelly, Palmerston North Jacinda Ardern: “Your Highness, you’ll be on the DJ booth over there.” – Sandy Barnett, Christchurch Ardern: “Our Winston over there can be a right Charlie – oops!” – Frank Twiss, Napier Caption: “Suddenly the call of duty was eclipsed by the call of nature.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Ardern: “And this is how you walk in Wellington.” – Kim Rakena, Napier…