Table of contents for JUL 16 in Esquire UK

Sanjiv Bhattacharya “In an oyster, it’s grit and abrasion that produces the pearl,” ruminates our US correspondent of his special travel issue adventure. “And New Orleans is an oyster town. If you’re moved by joy in the face of tragedy, if you like cocktails and black music, then you cannot fail here. This visit was my first of many to come.” Also this month, Bhattacharya interviews David Hockney, Brian Wilson and Jeff Goldblum. Giles Coren “People had warned me off Dubai,” says the editor-at-large, “but I had air miles going spare and a five-year-old daughter to entertain over half-term so I said to myself, ‘Fuck it, how bad can it be?’ I found out.” And so can you on page 106. A columnist for The Times, broadcaster and Esquire editor-at-large,…

There are three commandments to adhere to regarding swimwear. One, make sure they’re bright, loud and proud. Two, keep them short — but not too short — and cut to a tailored fit. And three, no budgie smugglers. If you’re ever unsure, channel Jude Law as Dickie Greenleaf in The Talented Mr Ripley and you won’t go far wrong.…

If you work hard on your fitness but also travel for work, you’ll know the pain inflicted by uninspiring, ill-equipped hotel gyms. Nowadays, the best international hotels recognise that increasingly health-conscious guests require more than a yoga mat and a selfpropelling treadmill. So great is the demand for high-quality hotel workout facilities, that upmarket gym brand Equinox recently announced it is to open a chain of state-of-the-art fitness hotels, with the first launching in New York in 2019. While we’re waiting, there are, of course, a select strata of hotels with excellent gym set-ups to keep you fit when travelling abroad. Here are five of the best. NEW YORK Le Parker Meridien, New York City With 15,000sq ft set across two-floors and overlooking Central Park, this is one of the…

While leather straps are great in winter, for summer something light, breathable and sand-resistant is needed for your wrist. Enter the “Nato” strap. Made of nylon with a metal buckle, it was first issued to troops by the MoD in the Seventies as the G10. Perfect for warmer climates, Nato straps are understated, functional and available separately so it’s easy to swap them over as the mood takes you. Here are four of the best watches mounted on Nato straps currently available.…

1 | Sosharu Dish: Bream sashimi, shichimi crispy potato, £11.50 Sake: Junmai Ginjo Jozen Mizunogotoshi, £19.50/180ml glass: “fresh melon and apple nose; its mineral, umami, dry finish pairs very well with seafood.” sosharulondon.com 2 | Jidori Dish: Tsukune (minced chicken and egg yolk), £4.50 Sake: Misty Mountain Junmai Bodaimoto usu-nigori, £9.75 per glass: “a full-bodied, unfiltered sake with a distinctly funky taste.” jidori.co.uk 3 | Tokimeite Dish: Wagyu beef sukiyaki, £46/150g top round Sake: Dewazakura Izumi Judan, £68 per bottle: “a martini lover’s sake.” tokimeite.com 4 | Oliver Maki Dish: Kizami wasabi maki, £14/8pcs Sake: Kisoji Daiginjo Retro Bottle Nagano, £13 per glass: “crisp, fresh and elegant.” olivermaki.co.uk…

BJÖRN BORG Everyone who saw it remembers the tie-break. John McEnroe prevailed 18–16 after nearly 25 almost-excruciating minutes to take the 1980 Wimbledon final into a fifth set. But the truly remarkable thing happened next. “And then there follows a moment which must rank among the greatest in sport,” Tim Adams wrote in On Being John McEnroe. “It is the moment when Borg walks out to serve once more, two sets all, one set to play, as if nothing had happened.” Borg once told McEnroe, “I’m two people” and that’s true. There was the iceman that Ilie Nastase called “The Martian” because he never flickered whether he won or lost. But the essential attraction — besides his impeccable pinstripe Fila uniform and kangaroo-skin shoes — was the other Borg that…

I’VE SMOKED FOR 62 YEARS, so why stop now? Picasso smoked, died at 91. Matisse smoked, died at 84. Monet smoked, died at 86. What are they going on about? IN LA, NO ONE ASKS YOU where you’ve been, where you’ve come from. There’s all kinds of people here, everybody’s from somewhere else. It suits me. IF YOU GO OUT of an evening, you’re usually going to listen to something even if it’s only people in a restaurant. So when you’re deaf you don’t tend to go out much. It gets me down sometimes. I can’t really hear music any more, and that’s a great loss. WHEN I FIRST WENT TO LONDON I was 18 years old, and they would mock me for my accent. It was stronger then —…

‘Music is joy. It’s love. And the English appreciate my music more than Americans do — you can tell by the way they clap’ Esquire’s What I’ve Learned interviews take the established form of presenting a famous subject’s thoughts and opinions without any narrative intrusion from the interviewer on the page. It’s simple: we ask a series of personal yet incisive questions and let the wisdom-laden answers flow. Unless, of course, our subject happens to be the flawed-genius chief Beach Boy. Hands up — whatever were we thinking? “How long’s this gonna take, about 15 minutes?” Not the most promising start to an interview, admittedly, but then it’s Brian Wilson. He’s been known to leave after five if the mood takes him, and not because he’s “difficult”, either. Brian just…

JUST AS NO ONE WANTS A BY-THE-BOOKS ACCOUNTANT, an honest lawyer or a squeamish GP, few people have use for a credulous journalist. For that reason among others (vanity, chiefly), I’d hate to give the impression that I’m some wide-eyed naïf who wanders the corridors of Esquire in slack-jawed astonishment at the unlikely quirk of fate that has delivered him to his perch atop the masthead of Britain’s best men’s magazine, and the heady proximity that position gains him to the great and good. Instead, I try to affect a scowling cynicism — about the rich and famous and everything else — in the hope that my colleagues will think of me as tough, hard-bitten. Even, I’m afraid, cool. (You only have to look at the above photo to sense…

According to the author of Men and Sheds, a study of more than 40 British men and their garden structures, a shed is to a man what a handbag is to a woman. Both contain essentials for surviving in the modern world. Judging from some of the case studies, though — one man keeps his milk bottle collection in his and another uses his for reptiles — we’re not sure how sound that logic is. Instead, follow Esquire’s suggestions for the essential garden kit to keep in yours. Allett Kensington 14K self-propelled petrol cylinder mower Powered by a 98cc Kawasaki engine, this self-driving, British-made mower will guide you along as you mow with a sixbladed cutting cylinder. The choice of professional gardeners, it’s used at top UK sports grounds and…

Food and drink Wine: Malbec or Cabernet Sauvignon. Spirit: Tequila or vodka, just clear stuff. Beer: Stone & Wood. The first thing I think about when I get back to Australia is a cold beer. Dish: I’ve been vegan for the past year, so Mexican food is good. Snack: Clif Bar. Restaurant: Treehouse, Byron Bay. Bar: Nobu, Malibu. Club: Soho House(s). Travel Hometown: Phillip Island, Australia. Destination: Tahiti or Indonesia. Somewhere where there’s good surf. Hotel: Soho House, Berlin. Tools App: Headspace. Website: Surfline or WSL. Guitar: I have a few. Gadget: Guitar tuner. Style Jeans: Nudie. Good fit, good material. Shoes: Whatever’s in the closet. Sneakers: Vans or Nike SB. Suit: Ermenegildo Zegna Couture or Isaia. Shirt: Whatever comes with the suit. Tie: Whatever comes with the shirt. Boxer…

Hard court Adidas Copa A rare retro design in a sea of bold colours and garish patterns, the Adidas Copa is a stripped-down reinterpretation of the Copa Mundial, the boots famously worn by such all-time greats as Beckenbauer and Baresi. £60 AstroTurf Nike MagistaX Proximo Thanks to that sock-like collar that Nike is employing more and more in its sports shoes, the MagistaX is tongue-less, allowing for an amazing sock-like fit. The textured upper improves close control, too. £125 Grass Puma evoSpeed Quite possibly the lightest match-day boot you’ll ever wear (and certainly the lightest Puma’s ever made), the evoSpeed’s upper is impossibly thin, allowing for exceptional touch and control. £145 The best pitch The coolest pitch in the world is the highest in Europe, at a soaring 2,000m above…

Louis Vuitton recently unveiled its Flying Tourbillon Poinçon de Genève — its first watch to have been awarded the muchcoveted Geneva Seal. A beautiful skeletonised tourbillon, the Poinçon reinforces Vuitton’s status as a watchmaker to be taken seriously. The GMT Louis Vuitton, above, features all the design cues of the aforementioned timepiece, without the eye-watering price tag. From the beautifully designed new 41.5mm case shape to the stylish V-shaped bridge and dual-time GMT function (not to mention the natty Taurillon leather strap), the GMT Louis Vuitton has leapt straight to the top of our watch wish list. GMT Louis Vuitton, £4,000…

Before George Best, footballers were humble, meat-andpotatoes men, far removed from the rarefied worlds of fashion and advertising they later came to embrace. After Best, they were playboys, male models, and even — regrettably — pop stars. Tracing the marketing of football cool from Best to Beckham, Richard T Kelly remembers the man who kicked the whole thing off, football’s first authentic superstar pin-up CRISTIANO RONALDO, when asked once for his view on who were the world’s three best footballers, replied breezily, “I am the first, second, and third.” Later put on the spot about why opposing fans jeer him, Ronaldo riposted, “I think that because I am rich, handsome and a great player, people are envious of me.” While one can’t really dispute how richly Ronaldo has been blessed,…

IT’S SOMETIMES SAID THAT TRAVELLING is about the journey, rather than the destination. That may be true — of travelling. This is an article about a holiday. And holidays are about the destination. I can’t emphasise this strongly enough: holidays are about the destination. (There is travel journalism elsewhere in this issue of Esquire, if that’s what you’re after.) The journey, then, can be smooth and orderly and — thanks to the good people of Oman Air, and Maldivian airways, and the guy who drove the speedboat to the hotel — in our case it certainly was, as much as three planes and a boat ride in the company of small children can be smooth and orderly. But really (did I mention this already?) this is not about the journey:…

‘I’m a terrible cook. I like to eat, but I don’t like to cook. It’s against my religion. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’ve been married for 40 years’ COMIC BOOKS WERE THE ONLY THING I read as a child. I didn’t come from a family of people who had a reading tradition, at least not in English. I lived in a very crowded house, but my Italian-American experience is not the Italian-American experience you understand from films and television shows you may have seen. You may have seen more of those than I have. I LIKE TO IMAGINE THINGS, and do as little research as I can possibly manage to. I don’t want to learn too much, I want to be free to invent. ROUTINE USED TO SEEM…

Margaret Howell White poplin shortsleeved shirt, £235, by Margaret Howell. Indigo denim-twill worker jeans, £215, by MHL by Margaret Howell. Vintage black leather belt, £45, by Rokit Gucci Oatmeal/holly/black/moss wool bomber jacket, £1,850; blue/white cotton shirt, £305; indigo denim cuffed jeans, £440; cocoa leather moccasins, £440; brown acetate squareframed spectacles, £210, all by Gucci. Vintage black leather belt, £45, by Rokit J Crew Dark blue denim shirt, £90; blue washed denim jeans, £125, both by J Crew Polo Ralph Indigo denim sports jacket, £595; blue plaid linen-cotton work shirt, £200; yellow T-shirt, £55, all by Polo Ralph Lauren Levi’s Yellow cotton-sateen shirt, £170; white/blue/red striped T-shirt, £75; blue 501 patch-denim jeans, £260, all by Levi’s Ami Navy stretch-cottondrill overcoat, £450; blue bleached denim jacket, £195; cream ribbed cotton jumper, £145;…

Greyhours timepieces Greyhours is crafting luxury timepieces using diamond-like-carbon (DLC) coating technology and anti-reflective blue sapphire glass. The watch is powered by a Swiss designed movement. Very limited stock available. From £165. Order now at greyhours.com In stock now. 'EQ01' for free shipping. Finally you can shop like a man! Time is precious, so spend it wisely. What you wear matters, it is instant language. Dappad offers a personalised shopping experience for the modern man. Sign up online and get matched with a personal stylist. Sit back, relax and receive a personally curated box to your home or office. Choose what you like and send back what you don't. Pay only for the clothes that you keep, priced the same as in stores. Service and shipping is free both ways.…

Dear Uncle Dysfunctional, I’ve been perusing your effulgent errs for some time with, I must declare, a vanishing pleasure. What was once engorged is now flaccid. When you write about the straightforward mechanics of congress between honest working people, overcome as they may be with inappropriate lust and an abundance of blameless ardour, then oft your replies are useful, passing lyrical, perchance antic with bouquets of heavenly smut. I particularly remember with ribald amusement your injunction on how to delicately cope with rectal effluvia after anal sex in polite company. It had an earthy practicality. And the hilarity of your instructions for plaiting a fairy garland into a harvest festival foreskin was a boon for aesthetic spinsters blessed with an artistic bent. But I must tell you, my patience runs…

While most of you were worrying about the calibre of the US presidential candidates, pondering which celebrity might drop dead next (at this rate, MailOnline will soon have no one left to feature in its sidebar of shame), or whether your granny annexe could be a tax liability, I was fascinated by far more fickle things: Prince William’s dress sense, to be precise. The Duke of Cambridge clearly has little interest in the menswear world (fair enough), nor has he inherited the eye for style evident in some of his relatives, such as his dad or Prince Michael of Kent. William appears to wear clothes laid out for him each morning by a trustworthy valet who must have spent his formative years working for his uncle Andrew: no surprises, protocol-friendly,…

ESQUIRE APPROVES Dior Homme’s demi-mesure service is available at the New Bond Street Maison, open now; from £2,300 When we heard Dior was opening a huge new flagship on London’s New Bond Street — the first in the UK to boast a floor dedicated entirely to Dior Homme — it wasn’t the central locale that excited us. Nor was it the realisation we’d no longer have to schlep to Paris to buy the best of Dior’s menswear. No, what excited us most was that for the first time, Dior Homme’s demi-mesure (made-tomeasure) tailoring service would be on our shores. We love a beautiful handmade suit so, of course, we were first through the door to be fitted up. Unlike bespoke, which involves a tailor cutting a pattern around your measurements…

ESQUIRE APPROVES Red gold Chronoliner Limited Edition, £22,650, by Breitling Currently, the watch world’s got a big thing about gold — yellow, red, sedna and rose. But, wear a gold watch the wrong way and you risk looking like a used car salesman, or someone concealing an offshore bank account. Fortunately, this month Breitling releases its new 250-unit limited edition Chronoliner, a lesson in how to wear gold the modern way. Featuring an 18k red gold case and an ultra-hard black ceramic bezel, the 46mm watch draws its design inspiration from a Fifties-era flight captain’s model and brings out the best in the yellow metal without appearing too flashy. Exterior aside, the Chronoliner incorporates a precise COSC-certified triple time zone chronograph movement in addition to 100m water resistance and a…

Few high street brands are more concerned with championing emerging talent and staying at the forefront of style than River Island. In past years, it has created capsule collections with Lou Dalton, Christopher Shannon, James Long, Baartmans & Siegel, Katie Eary and others through its Design Forum project, and the next collaboration hits shops this month. A slight departure from the tradition of working with less established names (but no less exciting), River Island has teamed up with YMC, one of the best-loved labels in British fashion. Inspired by the two-decade-old brand’s archive, the 15-piece River Island Design Forum x YMC collection remains true to the latter’s acclaimed functional and understated workwear aesthetic. Fraser Moss Creative director, YMC “We had previously been reluctant to collaborate with high street brands, but…

Apple-pie American, the beaches and postcard-perfect towns of Cape Cod and the Islands (Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard) have long been the quintessential East Coast summer retreat for wealthy New Englanders plus US presidents from JFK to Obama. Under two hours’ drive from Boston, on a map Cape Cod looks like an arm doing a bicep curl, but there’s nothing remotely macho about this laid-back location which had artist Edward Hopper hopping with joy. You may also recognise Martha’s Vineyard as Amity Island in Jaws. As you’d imagine, it’s all very insider, but consider this the key to its treasures. Tom Barber is a founder of the award-winning original-travel.co.uk Stay Even if you mean to explore all three centres, your best bet is staying on the mainland and the best new(ish)…

Japanese restaurants are popping up at every turn, spearheaded by Jason Atherton’s Sosharu. The cuisine’s accompanying drink, sake, can present a great dilemma to the inexperienced. A welcome helping hand comes in Elliot Faber and Hayato Hishinuma’s new book, which escorts you across Japan, documenting how sake is prepared and profiling its brewers. “What is exciting is that sake has great versatility,” Faber says, “and can be paired with everything from Japanese to BBQ and Italian.” If already a connoisseur, try unpasteurised (nama) sakes. “Nama sake can be extremely flavourful,” Faber says. “It’s like drinking in 3D!” He recommends six of his favourites, above. Sake: The History, Personal Stories and Craft of Japan’s Artisanal Breweries (£75, Gatehouse Publishing) is out now…

CAJUN SEAFOOD ON CLAIBORNE Avenue doesn’t appear on any tourist maps of New Orleans. It’s in the Seventh Ward, just across from Tremé, a part of town where tourists probably shouldn’t wander about after dark. But we have a guide, Mrs B and I, and this is his favourite crawfish spot. DJ Chicken (not his real name) has been showing us around all afternoon. No one messes with Chicken out here. He’s only a little guy, about 5ft 2in, and a gentle soul, more lamb than chicken. But he grew up in the ’hood in a well-known musical family, which is royalty in this city. His dad was in the New Orleans funk band Chocolate Milk, and Chicken himself has been DJing for 26 years. They called him DJ Chicken…

‘Nobody knows what happens when we die. I don’t think we meet our parents, we become ghosts or anything. And as for the 72 virgins, forget it!’ LIFE IS FULL OF HAPPY COINCIDENCES. My first child, Charlie Ocean, was born on 4 July while we were shooting Independence Day: Resurgence! I hope he likes fireworks. LESS STUFF, THAT’S MY MOTTO. Divest and simplify. I don’t like it when people on the TV say, “Hey, how about this new thing?” I give most of my stuff away. THE BEST WAY TO GET THINGS moving is to accept where you are. Ride the horse in the direction in which it’s going. MY THINKING ON TRADITIONAL RELIGION is in line with Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris. I prefer science. Nobody knows…

Look 01 Cream denim jacket, £45, by Next Grey cashmere jumper, £200, by Lyle & Scott London Collection White/blue striped cotton shirt, £75, by J Crew Blue cotton chino shorts, £30, by Topman Navy/brown leather boat shoes, £45, by Topman Black interchangeable frame sunglasses, £65, by Swatch Titanium HyperChrome 1616 watch on brown suede strap, £2,200, by Rado Look 02 Blue cotton blazer, £780, by Jacob Cohen White cotton polo shirt, £35, by Next Grey/white striped cotton trousers, £100, by J Crew Light brown suede tasselled loafers, £45, by Next Metal-framed sunglasses, £165, by Paul Smith at David Clulow Stainless steel/18ct gold 43mm C9 Five Day Automatic LE watch, £2,275, by Christopher Ward…

A Adidas adidas.co.uk AG Jeans agjeans.com Ami amiparis.fr APC apc.fr Aspinal +44 845 052 6900 aspinaloflondon.com B Berluti +44 20 7437 1740 berluti.com Blancpain blancpain.com Breitling +44 20 7499 8596 breitling.com Brunello Cucinelli +44 20 7287 4347 brunellocucinelli.com C Christopher Ward +44 1628 763040 christopherward.co.uk Clarins clarins.co.uk Crockett & Jones +44 20 7839 5239 crockettandjones.com D David Clulow +44 844 264 0870 davidclulow.com Diesel store.diesel.com Dior Homme +44 20 7172 0172 dior.com Drake’s drakes.com G Gant +44 20 7042 9680 gant.co.uk Gucci +44 20 7235 6707 gucci.com H Hackett hackett.com J Jacob Cohen jacobcohen.it J Crew jcrew.com K Kiehl’s +44 20 7240 2411 kiehls.co.uk L Lab Series labseries.co.uk La Roche-Posay laroche-posay.co.uk Le Slip Francais leslipfrancais.fr Levi’s +44 16 0459 9735 levi.com Lyle & Scott +44 20 7287 8307 lyleandscott.com M Margaret Howell +44 20 7009 9009 margarethowell.co.uk N Next next.co.uk Nike nike.com O Officine Générale officinegenerale.com Orlebar Brown +44 20 3441 6289 orlebarbrown.co.uk P Persol available at davidclulow.com Polo Ralph Lauren +44 20 7535 4600 ralphlauren.co.uk Puma uk.puma.com R…