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Viz October 2020

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

United Kingdom
Dennis Publishing UK
R 59,76
R 537,83
10 Issues

in this issue

2 min
gover-active imagination!

Terry Rarebit, 52, was apparently in perfect health on Thursday morning, and was browsing through Twitter when he suddenly keeled over. reading Speaking to the Derby Meatus & Banjo String, Rarebit’s wife Mary, 51 told reporters, 46, 38, 26 and 61: “Terry was reading something about Sarah Vine’s latest poisonous Daily Mail column. He was going on about how dreadful she was. Then, quite without thinking, I mentioned that she is married to that awful Michael Gove.” round A tearful Mrs Rarebit continued: “Terry chuckled and said: ‘Christ, imagine the two of them going at it.’ Then suddenly there was this almighty crash. When I looked round, Terry was twitching on the kitchen floor, white as a sheet, with his face twisted into a grotesque rictus of terror.” “I thought at first he was simply…

13 min
letter bocks

☐ CAN Covid-19 get in via your bottom? I’m going to the zoo today and I am bound to need a shit at some stage and I’m a little concerned that someone may have coughed on the seat. Stuie, Bunny * That’s a very good question, Stuie. Perhaps the government’s chief medical officer Prof. Chris Whitty could write in and tell our readers if they can catch Covid-19 off of toilet seats at the zoo. ☐ I’M sick of how negative the mainstream media has become. Almost every day we hear about people who have died, but there are never any stories about those who have come back to life like Jesus did. Come on, let’s have a bit more balanced reporting, please. Ben Nunn, Caterham ☐ THEY say that you should never judge a…

3 min
top tips

BUSINESSMEN. Encourage clients to ‘support local businesses’ by turning down any orders from over 2miles away. Rev.Max, Chandler’s Ford CONFUSE and silence conspiracy loons by responding to their outrageous bullshit with, “That’s what THEY actually WANT you to think.” James Wallace, Belper TRANQUILISER darts make an ideal vegan alternative to conventional ammunition for ethical big game hunters. Helmut Cheeseman, Bredbury FOOTBALL ground stewards. Take a sneaky peak at what is happening on the pitch by fitting wing mirrors to your shoulders. Grant B Warner, New Zealand WITH a bit of practice, it is possible to squat and lay a turd on a running machine. By adjusting the speed of the belt, you can work out your exact cable laying speed in miles per hour. It is recommended that you forewarn the staff at the gym prior to executing…

5 min
sleepy-bye britain!

THE COVID-19 pandemic has had a profound impact around the world. And as the infection rate steadily declines, recovered victims are reporting suffering intense fatigue long after the symptoms of the illness are gone. Extreme exhaustion mid-way through the day seems to be one of the long term effects of this virulent virus, and many sufferers are only able to get through their regular routine with a rest. The virus has affected people from every walk of life, leaving them tired, listless and debilitated. And with such a high number of cases in the country, post-Covid Britain will prove to be a very different place from the one the virus initially infected. Viz scientific correspondent, Prof Stanley Jordan takes a look at how every aspect of life in Britain will look as we…

7 min
let’s look at… the intern

YOU CAN’T get a job without experience… and you can’t get experience without a job. It’s the Catch-22 situation that faces everyone looking for work these days. And it’s the reason why INTERNSHIPS have become the norm in many spheres of our economy. These non-paying positions allow new workers to gain valuable on-the-job experience, whilst giving employers the chance to see how potential recruits fit into the workplace before making the commitment of offering a full-time job; it’s a win-win situation. So let’s visit a typical London advertising agency and follow an excited young intern from his first day at work… JULY 1980 Tom Golightly graduates from a top Humberside University with a degree in Media Studies. This is the first step on his dream journey to becoming a top advertising executive -…

7 min
wiggins vs walsh who’s the best bradley w?

ROUND 1… SIDEBURNS ASK anyone to describe what’s famously growing down in front of the iconic Tour de France winner’s ears, and they’ll answer without hesitation – “sideburns!” But this photo, snapped during the 2009 Northern Rock Cyclone Beaumont Trophy race meeting and handily free of copyright restrictions, provides compelling evidence that Wiggins thinks nothing of shaving off his trademark face fannies any time the mood strikes him. 0 ROUND 2… COMING 4TH IN THE 2009 TOUR DE FRANCE AT FIRST glance, this round would seem to be an easy slam-dunk for the decorated cyclist who enjoyed an illustrious 15-year career in the saddle, and famously pedalled his way to a fine 4th place in 2009’s running of the highly prestigious French roadrace. But wait – proven drugs cheat Lance Armstrong’s 3rd place in…