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Viz February 2021

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

United Kingdom
Dennis Publishing UK
R 59,76
R 537,83
10 Issues

in this issue

2 min
down cast!

FOOTBALL manager Roy Hodgson has expressed his anger at movie producers after being cast as the lead in an American teen comedy without his knowledge. Now the Crystal Palace boss fears the mix-up could scupper his team’s chances of pushing for a European place in the 2021-22 season. Hodgson had been preparing for the new season with the goal of the Eagles finishing in the top of the table. But he now fears the proposed shooting schedule for Soda Pop Summer 3 in the spring will clash with the middle part of his Premiership campaign, throwing his plans into disarray. quarterback And despite putting on a brave face, the Palace boss was furious that he has been cast as the movie’s hero, high-school quarterback Buck Carmichael, without his consent. “It’s tremendously disappointing, and for…

15 min
letter bocks

Viz Comic, P.O. Box 841 Whitley bay, NE26 9EQ letters@viz.co.uk HAVE ANY of your readers ever been bitten on the arse off a snake? George Dirtcrumbs, Tring * Well, we have a lot of readers, Mr Dirtcrumbs, so it’s entirely possible that one or more of them have been bitten on the arse off a snake. The only way to find out is to do a poll. Could all our readers fill in the attached form, and send it, along with a £1 administration fee, and send it to: Viz Comic Arse Snakebite Survey, PO Box 841, Whitley Bay, NE26 9EQ. YOU KNOW how your own farts smell much nicer than other people’s farts? Well, if you fart and then forget you farted, does it smell horrible because you think it is…

3 min
jesus saves

Dear AB of C, OUR local Curry’s is slashing the price on one of them cordless Dyson vacuums in this year’s January sales. But yesterday I overheard Edna Earnshaw from number 32 telling her sister that she’s after buying it. I was wondering if God might consider smiting Mrs Earnshaw with a plague of boils or locusts or some other temporarily debilitating affliction on January 1st, so that I am able to pick up this bargain without her getting there first? Agnes Bad-Brains, Nuneaton The AB of C says: “I’m afraid that God usually only dishes out the boils and locusts for fairly serious crimes - such as murder, fornication or coveting someone else’s oxen. It’s unlikely that He would strike your neighbour down simply to allow you to buy a cut-price vacuum…

4 min
what’s in a name?

SINCE TAKING up residence at number 11 Downing Street a year ago, Chancellor of the Exchequer RISHI SUNAK has got Britain’s ladies’ interest rates soaring. The true blue First Lord of the Treasury may be small in stature, but he’s got a pound or two in his pocket that any red-blooded girl would love to get her hands on. We see him every day on the news, serving pizzas and borrowing hundreds of billions to pay for Brexit, but what’s this dishy budget bombshell really like when he’s not acting the giddy goat for the telly cameras? Believe it or not, the secret is hidden in plain sight, woven into the very letters that make up his name. R is for RABBITS As a child, Rishi used to supplement his pocket money by…

3 min
merry christmas and a vice-free new year

IT’2S a story as old as time. At midnight on December 31st, every man in Britain vows to give up masturbating. But chances are that by lunchtime on New Year’s Day he has already fallen off the wagon and cracked a quick one out. And now a new study by scientists at Bristol University tells us what we already know from bitter experience – refraining from wringing the bell is much harder than it appears. According to the boffins, if men want to give up, then they have a difficult task ahead of them. “A man’s body is full of hormones,” explained the report’s author Professor Kurt-Heinz Zuffle. “These chemicals course around in his bloodstream and give him powerful urges in the trouser department,” he said. “These compulsions are so powerful that…

4 min
blair today, gone tomorrow

LOOKING like Tony Blair is a problem that few of us face. Indeed, only a handful of people in the country may be mistaken on a regular basis for the former Prime Minister, getting constantly stopped in the street and asked for their autograph, or having eggs thrown at them whilst being called a war criminal. But, for those few people, the problem of resembling the mad-eyed ex-Premier is very real. If you look like Tony Blair, don’t worry, because help is at hand. Here, Viz life coach Braxton Hicks gives you a few tips on how to make 2021 the year when you look less like the New Labour PM. 1 WEAR A HAT BORN in 1953, Tony Blair is a Baby Boomer, a member of the first generation to eschew the…