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Viz May 2021

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

United Kingdom
Dennis Publishing UK
R 59,76
R 537,83
10 Issues

in this issue

15 min
letter bocks

RECENT revelations in your comic about Louis Theroux’s behaviour certainly resonated with me. I had a dream in which I was waiting for Louis to show up for a meeting. There was a plate of biscuits on the table and every time I went to take one, I was told to ‘wait for Louis’. When Theroux finally arrived, he refused to apologise and went straight for the plate of biscuits, ensuring that they were out of my reach. He only put the plate back into the middle of the table after he had taken the Bournvilles and Jammie Dodgers. People say that he comes across as charming and naïve, but I found him to be a very rude and self-centred man. Roy Sauce, Steeple Bumpleigh 2000 YEARS ago, the ancient Romans took…

1 min
the lord sumption life value calculator app

Has ever a day gone by when you haven’t wondered how much your life is worth, compared with that of your friends? Well, you can now put those thoughts to bed thanks to… “I’m a Doctor and yesterday I had to decide on whether to save the life of a 5’ 8”, long sighted, 57-year-old man who was a stone overweight, or a 5’ 10”, slightly deaf, 52-year-old woman, who was quite attractive, but with a bit of a dodgy haircut. Normally this decision would have to go before a committee of consultants, but with my Lord Sumption Life Value Calculator I was able to make that decision myself, and the woman lived.” Dr Eric Stethoscope “I’m a High Court Judge, and it breaks my heart to give full life sentences to murderers,…

2 min
oh oh heaven!

MANY NAMES have been put in the frame to replace Daniel Craig as the next James Bond – Tom Hardy, James Norton and Idris Elba to name but a few. But the one which stands out as the hot favourite is none other than the late SIR ROGER MOORE, who is tipped to re-don the superspy’s tuxedo after a 35-year hiatus. The much-loved actor played the British secret agent seven times, and was last seen dangling from the Golden Gate Bridge while battling with super-villain Christopher Walken in the 1985 thrill-fest A View to a Kill, before passing his 007 licence to Timothy Dalton for 1987’s The Living Daylights. Other actors have taken on the role since, portraying Bond variously as brooding, gritty and suave. But many fans have longed for a…

3 min
for fox sake

THE LEAGUE Against Cruel Sports won a victory in 2005 when the then Labour government introduced a ban on hunting wild animals with dogs. But that might turn out to be a hollow victory in light of a new scientific report which shows that foxes actually enjoy being hunted. According to scientists from the Royal Agricultural University, hunt saboteurs have deprived the red-coloured dogs of excitement, and have condemned them to dull, uneventful lives rummaging through wheelie bins. “We needed to recreate the conditions of a hunt in order to test the hypothesis that foxes enjoyed it,” said Dr Trimble Bowes-Lyon, head of the Cotswolds-based university’s Hunting Research Group. “For scientific research purposes, myself and twenty non-scientist friends mounted horses and chased a fox with forty dogs for about seven miles around the…

3 min
a hunting you shall go!

IT’S NOW 16 years since killjoy politicians voted to BAN one of the most popular sports in Britain. And in that time, nobody – be they a Lord of the manor or a humble man in the street – has been allowed to saddle up their horses, call their hounds to heel and ride across their estate in pursuit of a fox. And we are all the poorer for it. But all is not lost. The vagaries of the British legal system mean that the law is peppered with inconsistencies. If you know what you are doing, these can be exploited to allow you and your friends – be they landed gentry or factory workers living Gateshead – to pursue this time-honoured tradition. Here, Viz lawyer QUERCUS PETRAEA gives a rundown of…

4 min
hunt for a star

IT’S EVERYONE’S dream to take a gun and kill a large wild beast. The thrill of seeing a fully grown white rhinoceros in mid-charge drop to its knees as your rifle cracks from the safety of a reinforced Toyota Landcruiser is one we would all savour. And the stars are no different. But in this age of ‘wokeness’ and social media, killing a wild animal for sport could well be a career-ender for any celebrity. Photographs of the star sitting grinning behind their lifeless quarry would quickly circulate on Twitter, and before long, contracts would be cancelled, shows pulled, and the unlucky celeb ‘flamed’. So we asked ten top stars which animal they would hypothetically like to kill, and what method they would use, if it wouldn’t mean instant career…