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Viz August 2021

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

United Kingdom
Dennis Publishing UK
R 59,76
R 537,83
10 Issues

in this issue

17 min
letter bocks

SCIENTISTS say that in the future, all meals will be in the form of a pill. Let’s hope they are right, and they don’t develop them in the form of a suppository. I think that would make dining out a most unpleasant experience. Umberto Coaltit, Hull YOUNG people today just don’t appreciate the 14th century crop rotation systems. They’re all too busy on their X-boxes, watching those podcast things and using modern agricultural methodology. David Slade, Stevenage WELL DONE Dyson for giving customers free postage on your hair products. You wouldn’t want to take the piss by adding on £3 postage after charging £400 for a pair of fucking hair tongs. Eldon Furse, Leeds CAN THE super-attractive, dark haired lady, late 30s, white T-shirt, skin-tight stonewash jeans, pushing her trolley on the way out of Morrison’s…

2 min
dazed donovan in alaska flashback fiasco

THIS YEAR’S prestigious Pride of Britain awards ceremony was last night disrupted after host Jason Donovan experienced a flashback to a past life as a nineteenth century Alaskan fur-trader. The lavish ceremony at the Grosvenor House Hotel had been underway for forty minutes, and the former Neighbours star was mid way through presenting a trophy to a man who had jumped into a canal to save a pensioner, when he suddenly fell silent and gazed blankly into the camera while clutching at his hair. Fellow presenter Carol Vorderman immediately saw something was wrong and stepped forward to finish presenting the award. After a short pause, the Aussie songster shook himself from his trance and offered an explanation as to what had happened. “I don’t…I’m…sorry, everyone. I just…I just had a flashback to…

2 min
saints alive!

EXCLUSIVE! THE COVID pandemic, with its knock-on effects on the economy and the nation’s mental health, could be causing problems for the patron saints of the Catholic church. According to the religion’s CEO, Pope Francis, since the pandemic struck, appeals to the saints for intercession have gone through the roof, and many of the canonised souls are struggling with their workload. “People are praying for Covid victims right, left and centre,” the Pontiff told The Catholic Herald. “Not only that, they’re getting unprecedented requests from people whose businesses are under threat and others who are struggling with debt as a result of the pandemic,” he continued. “All of this comes on top of prayers for help for all the usual stuff like people who’ve lost things and people going for job interviews.” collapse But while the…

2 min

NOBODY knows what happens to us when we die. Christians would have us believe that if we are deserving, we ascend to Heaven, and if not, we burn forever in the fiery pit of Hell. As we don’t know God’s mind as to what is deserving and what isn’t, it’s a bit of a gamble. So it’s probably best to believe that we are reincarnated instead – a process where our souls are transplanted to a fresh body to live life all over again. However, with trillions of individual animals on earth, of which only 7.9 billion are humans, chances are we’ll be reincarnated as something else entirely. Whilst strolling around the jungle as a tiger, or soaring high in the sky as an eagle would not be a bad…

2 min
your bitcoin questions answered

MANY PEOPLE are confused about what bitcoins actually are, where you get them from and how you spend them. R4’s Moneybox presenter PAUL LEWIS give you the lowdown on the hi-tech currency. What is Bitcoin? Bitcoin is an internet-based currency that exists in cyberspace. Just a penny invested in Bitcoin in the morning is typically worth millions or billions of pounds by the afternoon. How do I invest in Bitcoin? Simply go on the internet and buy some Bitcoin for a few pence… or even less! Then sit back and watch your investment grow. When you’re ready to reap the rewards, just go back on the internet and sell your Bitcoin for tens or hundreds of millions of pounds! How much does a Bitcoin cost? A Bitcoin costs just a few pence or even less. How much…

2 min
who wants to be a crypto billionaire?

ORDINARY people throughout the country are taking advantage of what financial experts are calling the biggest free cyber-cash windfall in history. By investing a bit of loose change in Bitcoin – the revolutionary open source internet currency invented back in 2008 by internet geeks – millions of Brits are becoming overnight multi-billionaires. And you can do it too, by following our simple step-by-step guide to the lucrative free money system. “It’s like winning the pools and a lottery rollover jackpot every minute, twenty-four hours a day,” says Nottingham cyber-trader Vince Fictitious, 46, who invested a bit of chewing gum he found stuck to the bottom of his shoe in Bitcoin yesterday afternoon. “I just did it for a laugh while I was waiting for a pop tart to cool down. I…