Inhaltsverzeichnis für May 14, 2018 in People

‘[She] told me I smelled good, and then she said, “Keith smells really good!” So I smelled him, and she was right.’ —ADAM RIPPON, on meeting Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban at the Time 100 Gala, to People ‘I’M NOT SORRY.’ —MILEYCYRUS, retracting her apology for posing nude in Vanity Fair 10 years ago, on Twitter ‘He’s passed the Irwin family khaki test. We’ve had him jumping on crocodiles and feeding alligators.’ —BINDI IRWIN, joking why boyfriend Chandler Powell is “the one,” to People ‘I love Nicole with all my heart, and that’s that.’ —JOHNCENA, addressing his and ex Nikki Bella’s broken engagement, on Entertainment Tonight ‘Someone who has been in relationships with both men and women—I consider myself to be a free-ass motherf-----.’ —JANELLEMONAE, coming out as “a…

After first getting together in 2016, Katy Perry, 33, and Orlando Bloom, 41, decided to call it quits just a year later in February 2017—but the duo, who sparked rumors of a reconciliation after vacationing together in the Maldives earlier this year, now seem to be officially back together. “They are dating exclusively again, and things seem more serious,” says an insider. “They are both excited about it and don’t want to hide, but at the same time they are trying to keep some privacy as well.” The pair, who traveled to Vatican City and met Pope Francis on April 28, have been spotted on multiple vacations together since word of their rekindled romance began to spread. In a recent interview with U.K. newspaper The Times, the actor referred…

Lea Michele & Zandy Reich After a year of dating, Reich—president of the clothing company AYR—proposed to the Glee alum, 31, with a 4-carat elongated radiant cut diamond ring. “This is the happiest that Lea has ever been,” says a friend of Michele, who dated Glee costar Cory Monteith before his 2013 death. “She knew it was right early on. She’s been through so much. Everyone close to her is just thrilled that she’s found happiness.” Rita Wilson & Tom Hanks The stars, both 61, celebrated their April 30 anniversary with a star-studded party a few days earlier in L.A. (Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey were there). “Thirty on thirty,” Wilson tweeted. “Keeping love alive. Grateful.” Aidy Bryant & Conner O’Malley The Saturday Night Live star, 30, revealed on…

Derbez had a boyhood crush on Goldie Hawn “I was deeply in love with her when I was young,” he says of the actress, now 72, who starred in the classic comedy Overboard with partner Kurt Russell. “Two years ago she was in front of me at Starbucks, but I didn’t say anything.” As a producer of Overboard, he made a more inclusive comedy Famed in Latin America for his film and TV work, Derbez swapped the movie’s gender roles and made the leading man Latino.“We wanted to break stereotypes,” says the star, who plays a rich playboy who falls for a single mom. Herecently became a first-time grandpa Derbez’s oldest daughter—actress and model Aislinn, 31—welcomed a baby girl, Kailani, on Feb. 25. “I was in a rush to…

BABIES Dancing with the Stars pro Kym Johnson, 41, and her husband, Shark Tank’s Robert Herjavec, 55, welcomed twins—a boy named Hudson Robert and a girl named Haven Mae—on April 23. Herjavec is also the father of three children from a previous marriage. •The Good Fight star Cush Jumbo, 32, and her husband, Sean Griffin, have welcomed their first child together, a son named Maximilian. ENGAGED Jersey Shore’s Mike “the Situation” Sorrentino, 35, announced on April 26 that he is engaged to his college sweetheart, Lauren Pesce. WEDDING Model Shanina Shaik, 27, and DJ Ruckus, né Greg Andrews, 34, wed in the Bahamas on April 28. SPLIT Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds, 30, and his wife of seven years, Aja Volkman, 31, have separated. They have three daughters…

Four days after their third child was born on April 23, Prince William and Princess Kate defied oddsmakers with their choice of name: Louis (pronounced Lou-ee) Arthur Charles. He was likely named after his ancestral uncle Louis Mountbatten on greatgrandfather Prince Philip’s side. “The name Louis exudes the aroma of strong coffee and the fizz of champagne,” says royal historian Robert Lacey. On April 25 William was at West minster Abbey and reported everyone at home was “in good form” and that the baby was “behaving himself” and “sleeping’s going reasonably well.” That was more than could be said of the dad of three, who was spotted nodding off.…

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After what she described as a “pretty easy” pregnancy, tennis star Serena Williams wasn’t expecting any drama when she arrived at St. Mary’s Medical Center in West Palm Beach, Fla., to deliver her first child on Sept. 1. Within hours of her arrival at the hospital, however, the baby’s heart rate started dropping with every contraction, and doctors told her she needed an emergency C-section. “That was the scariest part,” says Williams. “I didn’t flinch…. [I thought,] ‘Just do whatever’s best for the baby.’” But the crisis for the new mother was only just beginning. Complications after the surgery left the four-time Olympic gold-medal winner fighting for her life for the next six days. “I almost died after giving birth to my daughter,” she would later write in an…

Score J.Lo’s Gorgeous Gleam Jennifer Lopez is known for her perpetually bronze (and always perfect) complexion. Now the icon, 48, is helping you get her signature luminous look by launching a limited-edition makeup collection with Inglot Cosmetics. “I wanted it to be very glowy,” she says of her 70-piece range, which includes everything from blush to highlighter to, of course, bronzer (right). TURN TO SEE MORE FROM HER MAKEUP LINE! HOW TO USE J.LO’S BRONZER Lightly dust it along the hairline, jawline and cheekbones with a large powder brush to add dimension.…

WHEN TO APPLY IT Whether you’re using a liquid, powder or stick highlighter, swipe it on after foundation. Just make sure your base is set to prevent the formulas from mixing together. WHERE TO PLACE IT Apply highlighter on the areas the Sun would naturally hit: The center of your forehead, down the bridge of your nose, along the high points of cheekbones and on the chin. HOW TO MAKE IT LAST Avoid finishing powders, which can mattify your look, and instead lock your makeup in place with a hydrating setting spray.…

Make it in 15 MINUTES OR LESS! ½ lb. uncooked spaghetti ⅔ cup olive oil 1 tsp. lemon zest, plus ½ cup fresh juice (from 3 lemons), divided 5 oz. Parmesan cheese, finely grated (about 3⅓ cups) ¼ tsp. finely ground sea salt ¼ tsp. black pepper ½ cup chopped fresh basil 1. Bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil over high heat. Add spaghetti, and cook until al dente, 9 to 11 minutes. Drain spaghetti, reserving ¼ cup cooking water. Return drained spaghetti to pot; cover and set aside. 2. Whisk together oil, lemon juice and reserved ¼ cup cooking water in a medium bowl; add cheese, and stir until mixture is thick and creamy. Stir in salt and pepper. 3. Add lemon sauce…

1 (14.1-oz.) pkg. refrigerated pie crust 1 cup honey ½ cup granulated sugar ½ cup unsalted butter, melted 1½ Tbsp. cornmeal Pinch of kosher salt 3 large eggs 2 egg yolks ½ cup sour cream Vanilla ice cream, for serving 1. Preheat oven to 450°. Unroll pie crust; place inside a 9-in. pie plate. Tuck the crust underneath itself so it’s flush with the edge of the pie plate. Crimp the edges decoratively. Bake crust in oven 10 minutes. Remove to a wire rack. 2. Reduce oven temperature to 350°. Whisk together honey, sugar, butter, cornmeal and salt in a medium bowl until well-blended. Whisk eggs and egg yolks into mixture 1 at a time. Add sour cream, and whisk until just combined. Pour mixture into pie crust, and…

DEEP-SEA ADVENTURE The Deep-Flight Super Falcon Submersible is 22 ft. long and can dive 400 ft., giving guests a once-in-a-lifetime underwater experience. LOCAL FARE Passionate about sustainable food, executive chef Jean Luc Amann utilizes the resort’s 240 acres of farmland to create meals. SIGNATURE COCKTAIL The Laucala Sour—made with local Fiji rum, golden honey and apple and lime juice—is a guest favorite.…

The actor, 51, stars opposite Charlize Theron in Tully (for more, see page 63) Why did you want to be a part of this film? A movie that Jason Reitman is directing, Diablo Cody is writing, and stars Charlize Theron… I would play a lamp in that movie. I’m thrilled to be a part of it. What was it like playing Charlize Theron’s husband in the film? She’s got strength and intelligence and a sense of humor. She is rad. You have two daughters, ages 5 and 2. What surprised you most about becoming a dad? The short answer is just how hard it is. The other side of it is how great it is. I massively underestimated both of those things: It’s insanely hard and insanely great. What’s…

‘A TRENCH ALWAYS MAKES YOU LOOK ELEGANT AND PULLED TOGETHER,’ SAYS DESIGNER TORY BURCH, WHO CREATED IMAN’S STYLE…

The theme of your new Fabletics activewear collection is “Girl Almighty,” and you’re donating some of your profits to the U.N.’s GirlUp initiative. Why? Girl Up is about becoming a global support system for women, starting with girls, and teaching them to advocate for things they believe in. You have two sons [Ryder, 14, with Chris Robinson, and Bingham, 6, with Matt Bellamy] and are expecting a daughter with musician Danny Fujikawa. Did having a girl inspire you to do this? I’ve always felt this way. But I am excited about this rise of focus on women’s rights and paying attention to women’s voices getting louder. We are so strong when we support each other. Have your workouts changed now that you’re expecting? My nature is to push myself,…

When Lindsay Wagner was cast as the Bionic Woman in the mid-’70s, she became a generational icon. “It was the beginning of changing the image of women in the media,” the actress, 68, says of playing special agent Jaime Sommers. But stardom was “overwhelming,” she adds. “Anybody over the age of 34 still tells me how I was such a big part of their childhood.” After the show ended in 1978, she continued to act, but eventually focused on a public-speaking career. But recently Wagner, who was divorced from her producer husband, Lawrence Mortorff, in 1993, felt Hollywood calling again. She stars in the movie Samson (available May 8 on DVD and digital) and landed an upcoming role on ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy. “I’m kind of being guided to come…

She has played a serial killer, a superspy and a one-armed warrior—but Charlize Theron says the role that makes her the happiest these days is the one she plays for an audience of two. “My kids make me laugh like nobody’s business,” says the 42-year-old actress, mom to Jackson, 6, and August, 2. She lights up as she talks about camping, climbing trees and jumping on trampolines with them, dealing with 5:45 a.m. wake-ups and shuttling them to ballet and gymnastics. “I don’t want to miss out on my kids’ growing up,” she says. “I don’t want them to all of a sudden be 18 and be like, you know what, I should have been there more.” The South Africa-born star spent her early career scrambling for success as…

At 61, Katie Couric is at the height of her powers. On her enlightening new series, America Inside Out on the National Geographic Channel, she explores the most divisive topics of our time—like Confederate statues and Muslims in America—with the insight, toughness and compassion that distinguish her from the confusing noise of cable news. She is proud of her two daughters—Ellie, 26, a Yale graduate, and Carrie, 22, a Stanford student—and she has found love with John Molner, 55, a financier whom she married in 2014. She has also gracefully navigated the Matt Lauer scandal; after her former Today coanchor was fired for inappropriate sexual behavior last year, she told People that “the whole thing has been very painful for me…. It’s completely unacceptable that any woman at the…

SERENA WILLIAMS survived her delivery crisis, but many new mothers don’t. Maternal mortality has more than doubled in the U.S. in the past 30 years, with more than 50,000 women suffering life-threatening complications during childbirth each year. And the rate is even higher for black mothers, who die at three times the rate of white women. While causes include chronic health conditions like diabetes and obesity—plus increased numbers of older mothers and C-sections—racial disparities in health care are also a factor. The key, says Dr. Michael Lu, senior associate dean at George Washington University School of Public Health, is to better train hospitals to support new mothers: “In the most powerful nation on earth, no woman should ever die from pregnancy and childbirth.”…

1 MEET YOUNG HAN SOLO! Harrison Ford made Han Solo the galaxy’s most lovable rogue. Now Solo explores the early life of the space cowboy. “You get to watch Han Solo become who he is,” says Ehrenreich, who plays Han about 10 years before the events of 1977’s Star Wars. The L.A. native, 28, was discovered by Steven Spielberg after appearing in a friend’s bat mitzvah video at 14 and went on to star in 2013’s Beautiful Creatures and 2016’s Hail, Caesar! But he still had to audition about six times to join Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo), Lando Calrissian (Glover) and a crew of new characters and creatures. “The first time I walked onto the Millennium Falcon,” he says, “it was like ‘Oh, this is really Star Wars.’” Solo: A…

The star’s highlighter and blush (see right) are instant fan favorites because they enhance your look without being too heavy, a less-is-more approach that falls right in line with Lopez’s makeup mantra. “People want to see your natural beauty shine through,” she says. HIGHLIGHTER Use the puff that comes with this loose powder to give your face and collarbones a hint of shimmer. BLUSH Tap this matte shade on the apples of your cheeks for a natural-looking flush.…

6 cups cornflakes cereal 2 large eggs, beaten 4 (8-oz.) bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs 4 (5-oz.) skin-on chicken drumsticks 1 Tbsp. kosher salt 1 tsp. black pepper ¾ cup unsalted butter 1. Preheat oven to 375°. Place cornflakes in a large resealable plastic bag; finely crush using a meat mallet or rolling pin. Place beaten eggs in a shallow bowl. 2. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Dip chicken in eggs, letting excess drip off. Dredge chicken in corn shaking bag and pressing gently to adhere; transfer to a plate. 3. Place butter in a 13x9-in. ceramic baking dish; place in preheated oven until butter is melted, 8 to 10 minutes. Arrange chicken evenly in baking dish, skin side down, and bake until golden brown and crispy on bottoms,…

Know When Your Pet Is in Pain Unlike humans, many pets aren’t vocal when they are uncomfortable. Instead look for changes in your pet’s behavior. Decreased appetite, lethargy and hiding are all signs your pet may be hurting. If you notice these behaviors, and they aren’t normal for your pet, take them to the vet for a checkup. Handle Choking Pets With Care It is best to take a choking pet to the vet unless the animal is completely unable to inhale. In that case, the Heimlich maneuver can be used on animals by swiftly compressing the abdomen right below the chest. React to Food Recalls If your pet’s food is recalled, discontinue using that food immediately, even if your pet doesn’t show signs of sickness. Switch your pet…

For May7, 2018 Royal Baby Boy Congratulations to Prince William and Princess Kate! I am so happy for your new little prince. What a beautiful family. God bless! Trisha L. via people.com Princess Diana must be smiling down on her sons and their blessings. Susy Diaz via people.com How does Princess Kate look better seven hours after giving birth to an 8 lb.-plus baby than most women look normally? What a blessing for this family—three beautiful children. Cathie Fuentes via people.com Michelle Knight I can’t imagine surviving what Michelle Knight and the other women went through. They deserve nothing but happiness. Kristina A. via people.com Barbara Bush I’m sure George H.W. feels lost without her. But I’m also sure she’ll come to get him so they can be together…

WEEKS AFTER HER breakup from Anderson East was publicly revealed, Miranda Lambert is moving on with a new man—and courting controversy. Multiple sources confirm the country singer is now dating Turnpike Troubadours frontman Evan Felker, who filed for divorce from his wife, Staci Nelson, 15 days after he met Lambert for the first time while opening for her Livin’ Like Hippies tour. According to a source close to the estranged spouses, Lambert first texted Felker in January. “It started very much about work. He was completely thrilled,” says the source. “By the time he was leaving for the tour, it had become a lot flirtier.” (Reps for Lambert and Felker declined to comment.) By the end of Felker’s three-night gig the singer had decided to skip his flight back…

Date Night Sex! No, I’ve been married a long time, so that happens during the day! My wife [Yessica Kumala] and I have this little bar we like to go to for a nicely mixed cocktail and dinner. Fatherhood Joy. I’m so in love with my children [son Hunter, 4, and daughter Java, 9], and at the same time I’m so worried about protecting them. Hawaii Beginnings. While filming Lost there, I finally got to begin my career, I bought my first house, and I began my family. It was the beginning of feeling like not such a loser. Dream Launching. In my dreams a lot, I end up driving off a cliff in a car or flying over something too high in an airplane, and I’m…

You received a lot of support after opening up about your battle with bipolar disorder to People last month. How are you feeling now? [The support] was really nice. As long as I don’t have to stop being myself, it’s just who I am. It’s life—everybody has their own stuff. You just announced your new Caesars Palace residency, The Butterfly Returns. How will it be different from your last? The first was all the No. 1’s. This one is more of an intimate moment with me. It feels closer to who I am, as opposed to trying to fit into a box. My fans are used to me being more off-the-cuff. Will your twins Moroccan and Monroe [with ex Nick Cannon] be joining you? Yes, they will! There’s so…

Before Anne-Marie cracked the Top 40 charts, she was cracking boards in half. “I would be a very different person without karate,” says the singer, a three-time world karate champion who began classes at age 9. Now 27, the Essex, England, native (born Anne-Marie Nicholson) credits her musical success to the sport. “When you get knocked down, you got to get back up,” says Anne-Marie, whose hit “Friends” appears on her LP Speak Your Mind. “Otherwise, you are going cto lose.”…

4 cups self-rising flour, plus more for the work surface2 Tbsp. baking powder1 tsp. baking soda1½ cups (3 sticks) cold salted butter, grated or cut into 1⁄ 2-in. pieces2 large eggs, beaten, plus 1 large egg for brushing1½ cups plus 1 Tbsp. whole buttermilk, divided (add more if needed) 1. Whisk together flour, baking powder and baking soda in a large bowl. Cut butter into flour mixture, using a pastry blender, until pieces are even and resemble the size of peas. 2. Add 2 eggs to flour mixture, stirring with a wooden spoon until combined. Stir in 1½ cups of the buttermilk until dough forms a sticky mass. If mixture is too dry, add more buttermilk, 1 tablespoon at a time, stirring after each addition until desired consistency is…

Capt. Thomas Mountain has been perfecting the Household Cavalry’s royal salute in anticipation of performing on the steps of St. George’s Chapel when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle emerge as husband and wife. “We punch our sword out to the right, bring it all the way across until it is back in front of our face, and then lower it,” says Mountain, 28, who will rise at 5 a.m. to prep himself. “It’s going to be immense, phenomenal.” Meghan, 36, has been meeting with her bridal party and designers in London, while Harry, 33, is “exceptionally happy, extremely excited” about the upcoming day, says a friend. He’s not alone. Says Mountain: “The sense of drama is building. It’s palpable.”…

More than four decades have passed since the Golden State Killer began his bloody 10-year rampage of murder and rape across California, leaving 12 people dead and more than 50 women sexually assaulted. Also known as the Original Night Stalker and the East Area Rapist, he struck terror around the San Francisco Bay area, Santa Barbara and Orange County from 1976 through 1986—before he seemingly vanished into thin air. But even as the case grew colder, police vowed never to stop the hunt. “This guy,” says Sacramento County Sheriff Scott Jones, “was one of the most prolific sexual offenders and serial killers in modern history.” Now, after 40 years, police say the notorious case is finally solved. Late in the afternoon on April 24 a SWAT team of federal…

Carol Burnett has an uncanny knack for looking on the bright side. Earlier this year, when mudslides devastated Montecito, Calif., the TV legend was evacuated from her hillside home along with her husband, musician Brian Miller, 61, and their beloved Bengal cat Nikki. The trio hopped a National Guard transport and headed to safety, and the intrepid star stayed positive, as she has all her life. “We were just blessed,” she says of the disaster, which missed her house. “It’s all but for the luck of it, you know.” There are those who are merely lucky, and then there is Burnett, whose life is so colored by both epic good fortune and gut-wrenching tragedy that it reads like the script of one of the MGM movies she loved as…

‘They call me Mommy, and I call them my babies. They’re my kids’—JESS HAMM Nurse Jess Hamm had cared for more than 100 abused babies during her eight years at the Jacksonville Wolfson Children’s Hospital in Jacksonville, Fla. But on the afternoon of March 16, 2017, when she first saw Delilah, a 14-month-old baby girl with the “sweetest face”—and bruises all over her body—something felt different. “I just started talking to her,” says Hamm of the toddler, who’d suffered broken bones and a head injury and weighed barely 11 pounds. “I was telling her she was okay, and I held her hand.” As it turns out, Hamm would never let go of that tiny hand. When it became clear that same day that neither Delilah’s biological parents nor their…

SKYSCRAPER 7/13 • Dwayne Johnson (above) AMERICAN ANIMALS 6/1 • Evan Peters, Barry Keoghan A KID LIKE JAKE 6/1 • Jim Parsons, Claire Danes HOTEL ARTEMIS 6/8 • Jodie Foster, Sterling K. Brown HEARTS BEAT LOUD 6/8 • Nick Offerman TAG 6/15 • Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm SET IT UP 6/15 • Lucy Liu, Taye Diggs SICARIO: DAY OF THE SOLDADO 6/29 • Benicio Del Toro UNCLE DREW 6/29 • Kyrie Irving SORRY TO BOTHER YOU 7/6 • Lakeith Stanfield DON’T WORRY, HE WON’T GET FAR ON FOOT 7/13 • Joaquin Phoenix, Rooney Mara, Jonah Hill THE EQUALIZER 2 7/20 • Denzel Washington TEEN TITANS GO! TO THE MOVIES 7/27 •Will Arnett, Kristen Bell MILE 22 8/3 • Mark Wahlberg THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS 8/17 •Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph…

KIM KARDASHIAN-WEST’S BLENDING STICKS The star’s assortment of sticks are truly foolproof: You can build your glow with each stroke. “I love using it on my cheekbones, down my nose and on my Cupid’s bow,” says Kardashian-West, 37. MIRANDA KERR’S LUMINIZING BALM The supermodel, 35, used crushed rose quartz to give this organic balm a subtle pink glimmer that warms up the skin. Swipe it under the brow bone to perk up your eye area or on the lids for a soft wash of color, she says. CHRISTIE BRINKLEY’S GLIMMER STICK The 64-year-old supermodel, who believes “everyone can use a little sparkle,” suggests blending her lightweight sticks with your fingers, including on top of lipstick as a shimmery finishing touch. DREW BARRYMORE’S POWDER PALETTE The actress, 43, packed this…

TAKE ONE PACKET A DAY! 1 WELLNESS EXPERT BOBBI BROWN SAYS… Take a Probiotic Bobbi Brown, who recently left her namesake beauty company and launched her own wellness line, says a probiotic supplement packed with multiple types of “good” bacteria promotes healthy digestion, which is key to achieving luminous skin. “When your body is healthy, it shows on your face,” says Brown. That’s why she created her own lemon-flavored powder version that melts in your mouth (shown right). THE PROS’ CELEBRITY TREATMENTS: $150 AND UP. OUR AT-HOME VERSION: $15 2 CELEBRITY FACIALIST JOANNA VARGAS SAYS… Exfoliate Before You Mask An at-home facial treatment will work better if you “remove dead skin by exfoliating first,” says Joanna Vargas. Her tip for DIY-ing it: Wash with a cleanser that contains pineapple…

DRIED POTATO FLAKES “Instant mashed potatoes are the secret to an ultracrispy, gluten-free coating. Flakes with a finer texture adhere best,” he says. Use 3 cups CRISPY RICE CEREAL “Don’t substitute puffed rice for classic, crispy rice cereal. Puffed grains absorb too much butter, which will make it soggy,” says Chapple. Use 4 cups HARD PRETZELS “With a quick blitz in a food processor, pretzels become a flavorful coating,” he says. “Pulse them into fine crumbs.” Use 12 ounces…

CHOCOLATE It contains methylxanthines and caffeine, which are toxic to pets. The darker the chocolate, the more dangerous. GRAPES & RAISINS Many dogs are not affected by these foods, but for those who are, one grape or raisin can be fatal. Grapes and raisins cause irreversible kidney damage. ONIONS & GARLIC Both of these foods can cause oxidative damage to red blood cells, which can lead to anemia in your pet. COMMON PLANTS Many plants, like Sago palms and lilies, are extremely toxic to pets. Always research a plant or flower before bringing it home to make sure your aren’t putting your pet in danger.…

Last thing I took from a set Oh God, we had a label maker on-set, and I made labels for everyone, and I still have some. I made one for myself that said, “I’m 10-1.” Which is code on the set to go to the bathroom because I go quite a lot. Last time I cried It wasn’t a full cry, but we did a show in Seattle for 1,800 people, and when I walked out, the applause was overwhelming. I just teared up because it was a bunch of people sending me nothing but love. Last recurring dream Yeah, I always dream I’m driving and my brakes don’t work. You just tell yourself, “Oh, these brakes are weak.” I don’t get hurt—it’s not scary as much as annoying…