IMMANUEL Kant was a real pxssant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
’Bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates himself was permanently pxssed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
Half a crate of whisky every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fxrrt
“I drink, therefore I am.”
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker, but a…
