Innholdsfortegnelse for November 2016 i Guideposts

Those Who Served November 11 is Veterans Day. You’ll find our collection of shareable quotes that celebrate the courage and commitment of our servicemen and women at guideposts.org/veteransquotes Behind the Scenes with Mario Batali Take a look behind the scenes of our exclusive cover shoot with chef Mario Batali (page 32) and find out what inspired him to write his new Big American Cookbook and how he celebrates Thanksgiving. guideposts.org/batali Temple Revival The oldest synagogue in Los Angeles, Wilshire Boulevard Temple, has been fully restored after a four-year renovation project. Take a video tour guided by filmmaker Aaron Wolf (page 20). guideposts.org/wilshiretemple Stress-free Thanksgiving Want to beat the stress of cooking, travel and family gatherings? Get our tips at guideposts.org/holidaystress…

IN MY WALLET I CARRY A FADED blue index card with my grandmother’s handwriting on it. It’s a recipe, her biscotti recipe. Like all good cooks, she kept tons of recipes in her head—one cousin actually filmed her making her famous ravioli with pork sausage, chicken, Swiss chard and Romano cheese just to have a record of how it was done. Other recipes were kept in a box of crinkled note cards and pages cut from the newspaper with notes scrawled on them, the result of infinite trial and error. This one she wrote down. My grandmother is no longer alive, but with a glance at the card I can hear her voice, smell her kitchen, taste the anise seeds on her cookies. I can recall how she only let…

MY FRIEND CECILE MUST’VE seen the tension in my face when we met for lunch. “What’s wrong, Melanie?” she asked the moment I sat down. Part of me wanted to say “nothing” and change the subject, but as soon as I opened my mouth my worries came pouring out. “It’s Mom,” I said. “Her Alzheimer’s is getting worse, and as hard as I try to help, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. My dad is worn out. My kids need me too. I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do.” Cecile reached across the table and took my hands. “What would you tell the family members of one of the folks in your program?” For the last eight years I’d been the director of the OASIS (Older Adults…

WALKING THROUGH the grocery store, I tried to forget that my son Jeremy and I had just had an explosive argument. We both will sometimes speak before we think, and if we really push each other, we end up shouting. This time it happened in his front yard as traffic drove by. We leaned in toward each other, fists clenched, mouths wide open—almost like cartoon characters. A “rage bomb” seemed to go off in us at the same time. I wasn’t interested in groceries, and God seemed far away. I wondered what Jeremy was doing and longed to make things right. My heart hurt. I was sorry for my outburst. While I was waiting to check out, my eyes landed on a display of giant chocolate bars. Get him one.…

I can’t think of a Thanksgiving I wasn’t grateful for something. That’s the best thing about Thanksgiving. We can’t help but recognize our blessings. My wife, Julee, brought up a memorable Thanksgiving recently, one related to a project I’m finishing (more on that in a bit). It was November of 2010. We decided to host Thanksgiving at our weekend house in the Berkshire Hills of Massachusetts. The Sunday before, Julee and I shopped like mad. Sometimes I think Julee likes shopping for the food as much as preparing it. I kept fussing about how much stuff we were buying, but Julee said it was Thanksgiving and, after all, my family was driving all the way out from Michigan to join us. That night I took the train back into New…

LORD, WHAT DID you get me into? I wondered the moment I set foot on the snowy ground at the Naval Education and Training Center in Newport, Rhode Island. I’d just left my home in Georgia for chaplain school, and boy, was I unprepared for New England winters! I didn’t even have a proper coat. I knew next to nothing about the Navy, only what the recruiter had told me. Talk about culture shock. I’d pastored my own church back home. I’d even served as an associate minister with Martin Luther King, Sr. Had I really given it all up for barracks and snow boots? Those first weeks at “chaplain boot camp,” I was utterly lost. The only place I felt at home was the chapel on base. That’s where…

Are you a family caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s or another dementia? Like Melanie Hall, you’ll probably experience special challenges due to your loved one’s cognitive limitations. We asked professional caregivers from Home Instead Senior Care to share their best advice for handling such challenges. Some tips: Go where they are. “Validate their feelings. Confusion happens when their brain function declines. I always go where they are mentally. Maybe we go where they were fifty years ago. Sometimes we go where they are and stay all day.” —Lynette, Lafayette, Colorado Do little things that make them feel good. “My 93-year-old client who has dementia loves to be pampered. I fix her hair and put on her makeup every morning. I take her outside or on trips around her building in…

CLICKING INTO PLACE I’m the keeper of family history in my clan. So it drove me crazy that I couldn’t track down information on my late father’s side of the family. The few relatives I knew well had died without leaving many records. The rest of us had drifted apart. I remembered my dad’s younger brother having a son when I was eight, but I wasn’t even sure of the baby’s name. Chuck? Chet? My uncle’s name came up on an ancestry website, along with a son, Chip. It had to be him. I looked Chip up on Facebook. His profile picture gave me goosebumps. He looked just like my dad. “Are your parents Calvin and Van?” I messaged him. “If so, you’re my cousin!” I asked that he message…

“ Love of God makes so much sense to me when other things don’t.” actress ANGELA BASSETT “Suffering is like mud, compassion is like lotus, and you need the mud to grow the lotus.” CHADE-MENG TAN, from the book Joy on Demand: The Art of Discovering the Happiness Within “Your prayer for someone may or may not change them, but it always changes you.” CRAIG GROESCHEL, founder of lifechurch.tv “When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost.” REV. BILLY GRAHAM “If you wait for things to be perfect you’ll just miss out on life.” actor CHRIS PRATT “The past is a reference point, not a residence.” submitted by Guideposts reader BILL HEFFERNAN, of Chester, Illinois SEND AN…

I DIDN’T REALLY MISS MY DAD after he died. That sounds terrible, I know. I had hoped that all the pain and hurt he had caused would go away with him. It didn’t. Even though he had been gone for 20 years, the memories were always lurking. Sometimes the most innocuous, mundane thing would bring them back to the surface. “Want a soda?” my husband, Jeff, asked. I nodded. We’d stopped at a convenience store on our way to drop him off for a flight. Jeff works in the oil fields in Alaska, so we made the two-hour drive to the airport every three weeks. “I’ll be right back,” he said. I nodded again. Quiet because something about sitting there in the car had sent my mind hurtling back to…

I already had four dogs. But I couldn’t resist the adorable furry face in my Facebook feed. A chocolate teacup poodle who’d been liberated from a puppy mill down South. I contacted the Maine-based rescue agency that had posted her photo, said I was interested in giving her a loving home. I was honest about my concerns, though. Would she and my other dogs get along? What if the puppy mill had left her so traumatized that she needed an owner’s undivided attention? The rescue coordinator told me not to worry. The poodle would be among a group of dogs they were taking to Maine the week before Thanksgiving. After she spent the state-required three days with a foster family, I could go meet her and introduce her to my…

I’M A SPORTS GUY. A FOOTBALL guy. When my wife, Patricia, and I found out she was pregnant with a boy, I had it all figured out. She’d nurture Patrick Henry (that’s the name we settled on) through the first few years. Then, when Patrick could throw a ball, I’d be outside with him, teaching him to play all the sports I’d loved as a kid. I had visions of Patrick striding onto the University of Louisville football field his freshman year while Patricia and I cheered from the stands. The pregnancy was totally normal. Patrick looked perfect coming into the world and I loved him as only a father can. The obstetrician and nurses, however, seemed worried. They gathered around Patrick, then whisked him away. I knew it might…

A FAMILY TRADITION When I went away to college in Mississippi, I loved getting a postcard in the mail each Christmas telling me that Aunt Ruth and Uncle Edward were giving me a subscription to Guideposts. Every issue reminded me of my family in Tennessee and made me a bit less homesick. I looked forward to that postcard even after I graduated and got married. Aunt Ruth kept sending the subscription after Uncle Edward passed away. She stayed healthy and active. Then, one day in 1995, I was shocked to get a call from my father saying Aunt Ruth had suddenly passed away. I hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye—and that made me even sadder. Later that day, when I got my mail, I saw a postcard that I…