Innehållsförteckning för May 2017 från Australian FourFourTwo

Sydney FC have been peerless this season. Their unmatched dominance, which has seen them run away with the Premiership, drew comparisons with Brisbane Roar’s two season-spanning 36 game unbeaten streak, sparking debate over the manner of Sydney’s achievement. For some, because Sydney’s style was direct and uncompromising – with many of their goals coming from five passes or less – it was simply impossible to hold it in the same esteem as Ange Postecoglou’s Roar-celona and their slick passing game. But that is being blind to Sydney’s achievements. Graham Arnold has recruited a squad that is first of all balanced, with strength in all areas and depth in each position. If someone is injured or suspended, there is usually someone there who can be a direct replacement without being played…

Last month, it was a urinating keeper, now it’s fans peeing all over the place. Hot on the trail of Garry Whyte being sent off in a Scottish lower league match for going for a slash mid-game, Hamburg have been using social media to warn fans that ‘feral pissers’ will not be welcome inside the stadium. Meanies. Restlessness has been growing at the struggling German club and some fans are now taking their displeasure out on the Volksparkstadion, by having a number one on the terraces. It’s not even the first time Hamburg has faced a urinary crisis, with walls in the northern city being decorated in hydrophobic paint back in March 2015. “The peeing issue has been going on for quite a long time now,” the Hamburg press officer…

How do you up your fanbase if you’re only a small club in Brazil’s top flight? Well, Serie A outfit Avai have been trying to tap into the larger catchment area down south by honouring all 295 municipalities in the Santa Catarina state. How so? Since 2011, the ‘Team of Bravery’ goalkeeper has worn a different jersey in each match, with each containing some pretty pictures representing a local area. These designs have included food, landscapes and even a herd of cows – we presume in a bid to make them first pick for all bovine-loving football supporters. “The first city was Chapeco,” the Avai license coordinator Jorge Daux Neto tells FFT. Chapeco is just 550km inland from Florianopolis. “It was really popular so we decided to honour other cities…

FERGUSON OFFERED POGBA THE BEST-EVER CONTRACT FOR A RESERVE PLAYER AT UNITED, AROUND $30,000 A WEEK. IT WAS DECLINED The room falls silent as the television cameras zoom in on the young superstar. The interviewer gets things underway. “Well, Paul, a 2-0 victory – what’s your response to that?” The youngster shifts uneasily from one foot to the other, his eyes nervously darting around the room, trying to avoid any eye contact. “Well, there’s nothing you can say about it,” comes the mumbled reply. “It was magnificent… errrm.” His prolonged pause is met by stifled giggles from team-mates, who are gathered just out of shot. Clearly embarrassed, he fixes his gaze on his interviewer for the first time and takes a breath. “It was great to go down 2-1 in…

“IF I HAVE CONFIDENCE, I CAN DO EVERYTHING THAT I WANT. WITHOUT CONFIDENCE, IT’S VERY, VERY HARD...” After Sydney FC’s quest for invincibility was thwarted by the controversial 1-0 loss to Western Sydney Wanderers in round 21, the Sky Blues then faced Melbourne City – the only team they hadn’t beaten in the A-League. With Sydney leading 2-1 after 61 minutes, Milos Ninkovic floated just outside City’s penalty area, received a pass, feinted left but with one touch flicked the ball to Bobo inside the box who scored. It’s not the moment that clinched the Premiers Plate, but the 3-1 win got their lead at the top of table up to 11 points with only five rounds of the A-League remaining. After having their margin cut down to eight points…

1 v Adelaide United Round 21 2016/17 With two defenders in front of him, Berisha waited for the right moment before using the outside of his foot to find the bottom corner from inside the area. “That’s a crazy goal which I believe is so hard to score,” Berisha says of the effort against the Reds. 2 v Perth Glory Round 17 2015/16 This was a vintage Berisha strike for Melbourne Victory. Taking a first-time pass from Fahid Ben Khalfallah, he turned back and away with one touch before picking out the bottom corner. He says: “Finishing straight away was very good, very happy with that.” 3 v Wellington Phoenix Round 26 2015/16 A goal so similar yet so different to what Berisha has produced throughout his A-League career. Picked…

SCANDI SCRAP Swedish stars Freddie Ljungberg and Olof Mellberg were never best buds. In an open training session before the 2002 World Cup, the Aston Villa defender’s knee-high reducer sparked inevitable throat-grabbing. Then, in 2006, they clashed once again after a drab goalless draw with Trinidad & Tobago. And they say Swedes are sedate and neutral... SHOTS FIRED Following a 2010 training ground argument at second-division Dutch outfit Almere City, 18-year-old hothead midfielder Rene Osei Kofi – on loan from Ajax – nipped out to his car, pulled out a gun and put it to the head of colleague Christian Ghandu. “We’ve fired him,” announced Almere officials a few hours later. Just as well he hadn’t at Ghandu, really. NO CLUCKS GIVEN What would you do in protest at your…

“LASAGNE-GATE? THE GAME SHOULD HAVE BEEN POSTPONED. FIVE OR SIX PLAYERS WERE SO ILL THEY COULDN’T WALK” CLUBS 1999-2004 West Ham 2000-01 Bournemouth (loan) 2004-08 Tottenham 2008-09 Portsmouth 2009-14 Tottenham 2014 Toronto FC 2015- Sunderland COUNTRY 2004- England FourFourTwo has never been so cold. It’s Games of Thrones cold, with each breath vaporizing in the air. We’re up north, but we’re not trudging around Westeros – we’re inside Sunderland’s indoor training facility. Just as we start to wish that there was a fur-covered Jon Snow to huddle up to, the next best thing bounces in through the door: Jermain Defoe. We tell him an academy goalkeeper is coming to face some of his shots for the photoshoot, “He’s in trouble,” he chirps. The England…

THE LEAD-UP It was the final game of the home and away season for us against Wellington in the 2007/8 season. As a group, we were flying that season. We’d had a wonderful season and Tony Vidmar and John Aloisi coming into the team made a significant difference. We worked hard for each other and we were really looking forward to the finals that year because the previous year we’d failed to make them after originally being in the first year’s grand final. THE MATCH Wellington at that point in time wasn’t one of the strongest teams in the league and we went into the game full of confidence. We were fairly comfortable for large parts of the game. It was a stalemate in the first half but then Aloisi…

VILLARREAL MEN’S THONG FFT have admired Villarreal since the days of Juan Roman Riquelme, but there’s one thing we’ve always wondered: do they sell branded thongs? Well yes, yes they do, as it happens. Demand surely can’t be vast in one of Spain’s smallest cities – so we can only presume that football fans travel from far and wide to buy the fetching garments in the colours of the Yellow Submarine. Female thongs are available too, as well as a selection of briefs. Buy your men’s thong today for just $6.…

BRYAN ROBSON 1981-82 “With this player you’re not taking a gamble – you are buying pure gold,” said United manager Ron Atkinson as Robbo inked a British-record $2.5million deal. And he wasn’t wrong. From his debut in the Manchester derby three days later, Captain Marvel immediately displayed the aggression and passing ability that made him a legend. He was almost the perfect midfielder in an imperfect United side that ended his debut year in third place. ERIC CANTONA 1992-93 First campaigns don’t come any more special: Cantona’s skip across the Pennines from Leeds United proved “the catalyst” for United’s push to win their first title in 26 years, according to Alex Ferguson. Lying eighth on the day he signed, King Eric’s artistry had an immediate impact. A month later they…

SHANE SMELTZ 91 goals in 187 games* Along with Archie Thompson, the New Zealander was the star striker in the A-League’s early days. Smeltz proved hard to stop for defences, his all-round ability making him difficult to contain. A Johnny Warren Medal winner, he clinched the Golden Boot in back-to-back seasons – the only player to claim the award twice – including netting 19 goals for Gold Coast United in 2009/10. ARCHIE THOMPSON 90 in 224 Thompson was devastating as part of three Melbourne Victory teams which won the Premiership-Championship double. The former Socceroo’s pace and movement delivered the Golden Boot in the inaugural A-League season of 2005/06. Thompson’s biggest A-League moment came in 2007 when he scored five Grand Final goals in the 6-0 demolition of Adelaide United. SERGIO…

Loan Technical Coach It is all well and good allowing your young prospects to go out on loan and perfect their skills at smaller clubs. However, what if their coaching setup isn’t as hi-tech? Chelsea have bridged the gap – and arguably strayed into control freak territory – with the creation of a ‘loan technical coach’. The role is currently held by the Blues’ 1997 FA Cup Final scorer Eddie Newton, who liaises with the coaching staff at loan sides, ensuring the development of Chelsea’s future generation stays on track. Creche Manager It’s debatable who is more of the sociopath: a professional footballer getting into the face of a linesman, or a two-year old caterwauling over a lost teddy bear. Either way, both the players and toddlers need treating with…

“The ball is, and always will be, my friend. I need to touch the ball and I suffer if I don’t have it” Describe the Javi Martinez way. The ball is, and always will be, my friend. I need to touch the ball and I suffer if I don’t have it. When the opposition have got the ball, then it is my job – whether I’m playing as a central defender or a defensive midfielder – to fight to win the ball back in one-on-one situations. My role is a defensive one, to help my team-mates all of the time and to give them what they want: the ball. What drills should a youngster be practising to dominate a match while playing in the pivot role? Above all else, your…

What is it? Have you ever wondered why the guy running on the treadmill next door to you is wearing a Hannibal Lecter-style mask? Well, the idea of it is to simulate the effects of training at high altitude, so you can work out like an elite athlete without climbing up Kilimanjaro. How does it work? The mask restricts the amount of air that is available to your lungs during exercise. That forces your respiratory system to work much harder, adapt and then become stronger. It’s like doing resistance training especially for your lungs. Who uses it? Arsenal and England midfielder Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain has posted some videos of himself with a mask on during his gym sessions, while Manchester City full-back Gael Clichy and former Chelsea attacker Salomon Kalou have…

Are you that guy who goes for glory from an impossible angle rather than passing when your team-mate is completely free in the six-yard box? Well, the next time you spank the ball over the crossbar, we’re going to tell you to detox your ego. Don’t worry, we’re not talking about flushing toxins out of your system with a kale smoothie. We mean it’s time you learnt how to put the team’s interests in front of your own. This is the message that sports psychologist Steven Sylvester is preaching in his book Detox Your Ego to help players to fulfill their potential. “Being selfish out on the pitch is a disastrous mindset,” he tells FFT. “We want players making the right decisions under pressure and then thinking about how they…

1 LIZARD OF THE DRIBBLE Spain Cartagena FourFourTwo welcomes all sentient beings that wish to participate in the beautiful game, and photographer Fernando Trabanco had a novel idea for helping participation: get a gecko and let it dribble a football around. Boasting a low centre of gravity and scuttling speed of 30mph, we’d stick it on the wing up against a lumbering monitor lizard. But even the newbies need to abide by the rules: the picture clearly shows the gecko handling the football, although have geckos even got hands?! Let’s move on, shall we... 2 KING RAT Netherlands Breda There’s much to admire about NAC Breda, the Dutch second-tier outfit called the Rats, and their flare-loving ultras are always good for a laugh. For a fixture with Volendam, they put…

Kylian Mbappe CLUB Monaco POSITION Forward VALUE $85m FOOT R HEIGHT 1.78m NATION FRA AGE 18 TECHNICAL Blessed with an excellent touch, superb dribbling ability and an eye for the spectacular, Mbappe has developed into one of the European game’s most sought-after teenagers over the past six months. Playing as either a winger or forward for the team who have been leading the way in Ligue 1, he’s caught the eye in both positions. His pace and skills can take him away from opposing defenders in a flash and he’s pretty handy when through on goal: the teenager netted in both legs of Monaco’s Champions League win over Manchester City. His second-leg strike was his 17th goal of the season. MENTAL Mbappe’s stellar display against Man City showed just how…

 I knew I’d made it as a player when I had four NSL clubs enquiring my services in 1993. I was about 23-24. ‘Terry Venables played me out of position because he didn’t even know who I was...!’ My hero growing up was Maldini and Maradona. Maldini played in the same role I played in and was born the same time, same year, same month, same day. He was always consistent and players like Maradona – you just like the style and the ability of a player to distribute and to create such influence in games. He would just influence a game so much and draw so many people to watch him play. The funniest thing a coach ever told me was when I met Terry Venables in the dressing…

“MATESHIP, TRUST, BELIEF AND THE MENTALITY TO WORK HARD IS KEY TO ANY TEAM’S SUCCESS.” Alex Brosque – one of the nicest guys in football – was burning with intensity. Just days before the opening round, and the first Sydney Derby of 2016/17 season, he let loose. Despite being born and bred in Western Sydney, the 33 year old Sydney skipper left no-one in any doubt what he thought of Western Sydney Wanderers: “We hate every single one of them.” Days later, 61,880 fans from both sides of the city turned up at ANZ Stadium to see if he meant it. He did. The Sky Blues smashed their crosstown rivals 4-0. Looking back, Brosque says he has no regrets about his opening round declaration. In fact he believes those comments…

LEANDRO LOVE 0 goals in 15 games Leandro, another Brazilian, came, and went quickly. He arrived on loan at Melbourne Victory for the 2007/08 season and was gone shortly after, having failed to score in 15 appearances for the club. He has since spent his career back in his homeland and, for the most part, still struggled to score. MARIO JARDEL 0 in 11 Jardel came to the A-League on the wrong side of rehab, but previously had a goalscoring record like few others. A former Brazil international, Jardel had scored prolifically for Porto, Galatasaray and Sporting Lisbon. But it wasn’t to be in Newcastle... and the club went on to win the 2008 Championship after his departure. LLOYD OWUSU 1 in 16 Owusu was diagnosed with swine flu, and…

Childhood hero My brother, Alvaro Superstition Visualising the game Favourite sport – other than football I’m a basketball fan Dream Bayern Munich signing Nobody! We’ve got the perfect squad Favourite flick Untouchable – it is a French film Favourite music I like listening to Ryan Adams a lot Dream coffee date The New York Knicks’ Derrick Rose (above) If you hadn’t made it as a footballer... I would have been a basketball player Best friend There’s too many in football to mention Foible I can’t get to sleep without reading first Best school subject – aside from sport I was good at history…

Francis Kone The Togolese striker saved a player’s life – the fourth time he’d done this in his career. The injured opponent had got knocked out. Amateur referees More than 2,000 of them went on strike over the abuse they receive from players. Manchester United Each fan’s $200 visa to go and watch the team in Rostov was covered by the club. Wayne Shaw The pie-eating Sutton United keeper made a mockery of the U’s’ FA Cup Fifth Round tie against Arsenal. Islam Feruz The Chelsea starlet was docked $5,000 after getting caught riding in an $130,000 Porsche while being banned from driving. Leandro Bacuna The Villa midfielder was banned for six games after barging into an official over a throw-in decision.…

DARIO SRNA ‘I idolised him as a kid growing up and he’s always been my favourite player. He’s a right wingback/right winger, so he’s had a similar career path to what I’ve had and I love the way he plays. He’s a good crosser of the ball and scores a lot of goals from right back.’ LUKA MODRIC ‘He’s obviously a world class player playing at the best club, Real Madrid. With his technique on the ball and the way he controls the midfield, he can slow the game down and speed it up whenever he needs to.’ MARCO REUS ‘He’s another world-class player who can play on the wing and score goals. He gets in good little pockets and creates opportunities for other players and can be a real…