Dear Ben,
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m having your baby! Yes really! It’s true!
Roses are red, lilies are white,
It’s honestly not something I made up last night.
Roses are red, apples are green,
You did it, Ben! You big sex machine!
Roses are red, um... dolphins are grey,
I simply refuse to believe that you’re gay.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Look at Paul one more time – I’ll bloody kill you.
Violets are blue, roses are red,
You don’t want to end up like my pet dog. Dead.
Abi xxx
Dearest Kylie
Make N0 8 the house of love! Let’s steam up every room!
But we’d best avoid Gail’ s granny flat for our lusty afternoon…
To step inside that chilly tomb would make…